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Flash Fiction: Alone

alone

This is the first time I’ve published my writing on my blog… hope you enjoy.

Rain smashed down upon him like miniature bombs as he raced from his pursuer. He squinted his eyes enough to see but also enough to prevent the rain from stinging as each drop pummelled each eye ball.
Gotta love acid rain.

Johan’s heart galloped along, fast and steady with his tremendous speed. Sweat drenched his skin as much as rain drenched his clothes. A brief look over his shoulder didn’t show him any sight of his pursuer as he had placed a little more distance between them. Johan’s keen hearing though, detected the heavy foot falls matching his pace and getting faster. Johan scanned his environment as he ran. He looked for something to gain the advantage, gain the upper hand but nothing leapt out at him. That’s when he saw it.
That’s what I need.

Johan forced a little more energy into his run. He knew force was mass times acceleration so he pushed his acceleration to the limit. Johan saw a ravine up ahead. He had no idea how far down it fell but he had a rough idea how far across it was and roughly how far he could leap at his current speed. As distance between him and the ravine shrunk so too did the distance between him and the big bastard of a thing behind him. Terrifying sounds of fast heavy foot falls were joined with ferocious grunting from effort. Close but not close enough, yet.

Johan hit the edge of the ravine. Using speed and powerful legs, he leapt into the air. He didn’t need to look down to know it was deep. Water fell from either side of the ravine, the sound of the water hitting the bottom was distant to his ear but he knew he wouldn’t have to worry about that as he hit the other side with skill and precision. Johan landed on one knee with one hand on his sword. An ancient blade handed down, only to the strongest of his compound. He spun to face the other side of the ravine, to see his pursuer take the same leap he had taken seconds before. Only moments would pass before Johan and the beast would stand face to face. Johan knew he would last only seconds in that particular contest but he stood his ground no less.

Time passed in slow motion as he watched the momentum of his enemy bridge the gap between them, bringing them to a much deadlier distance. Johan stood in a powerful ready stance. Adjusting his feet and body by mere centimeters to ensure he was ready. The behemoth was close, outstretched with grasping fingers, hoping to take hold of Johan, tearing him to shreds. Johan ignored the danger, ignored the snarled grotesque face of what was once human, ignored the animal like roar that emanated from the beasts throat as it landed at a frightening distance from Johan. Milliseconds passed as Johan’s blade cut through the air, slicing the falling rain as easily as it sliced through skin, bone and muscle of the beast. A blade so sharp it caused no gore or blood from adhering to it’s gleaming metal. As soon as Johan finished his lethal swipe he rolled backwards entering into an upright stance ready for whatever onslaught may come.
He stood staring up at seven foot of violent rage. Johan’s eyes focused more on the beasts face, watching dark eyes to see if his swipe resulted in dimming the spark of life within. It stood wanting to move, needing to kill but not understanding why this wouldn’t happen. Johan saw what looked almost to be a realization in the beasts eyes. The spark behind them dimmed, it’s mouth fell slack and open. What had looked down upon Johan in murderous rage now stared beyond him to a distant nothingness only seen by those who reached the end stage of death. Johan replaced his sword into the scabbard attached to his back. Using his training he consciously lowered his heart rate. A meditation that could be drawn upon whenever he needed it. Now he needed it to deal with his rapidly decreasing state of anxiety. Adrenaline’s after effects were nasty but Johan wouldn’t feel it’s negative effect.

Johan watched and meditated as the beast before him stood motionless. Death enveloping it. Finally it fell into the ravine, in two separate pieces. Johan turned and continued his journey.

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  1. #1 by suecoletta on May 27, 2014 - 2:02 am

    It’s nerve-wracking posting your own stuff, isn’t it? This was very cool. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  2. #2 by Paula Readman on May 27, 2014 - 10:17 pm

    I hope you don’t mind me say as you have asked for comments and have been brave enough to post your work. There’s always a ‘but’ πŸ™‚ You need to think more about ‘showing and not telling’ I.e. ‘Sweat drenched his skin as much as rain drenched his clothes.’ As a reader, we know sweat makes us wet especially when we have been running or through fear. so you are telling us this. Think about a way of showing us his fear through his thoughts and action. By stopping to tell us things you are stopping the action and breaking the flow. Try reading through your piece and think about what you are trying to show the reader. You need to stand in your character’s shoes and feel every breath and see with his eyes and show the reader through words.

    I hope this is of some help. I’m no expert I’m still learning. πŸ™‚

    Like

  3. #6 by sanchitahobby on May 28, 2014 - 4:58 am

    This was a brilliant work for a first timer. You can probably make it an adventure story making each blog an episode. All the best for your next blog.

    Like

  4. #8 by winterbayne on June 15, 2014 - 5:30 pm

    You should post more flash. For me it is a quick, safe way to practice writing and do a little story telling for readers. I love seeing the different takes on the prompts.

    Like

    • #9 by David J Delaney on June 16, 2014 - 9:13 pm

      I think I will. I used to do the rounds with magazines but I think I’ll post stuff up here. People are pretty positive and the comments are really constructive (o:

      Like

      • #10 by winterbayne on June 17, 2014 - 5:55 am

        As bad as my flashes are…people seem to enjoy reading them and I have yet to have a negative experience. No worries, dive in. I’ve tested the water and it is fine.

        Like

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